Great Start to the Summer

Oliver's last day of school was on Friday. We were going to drive up to Idaho immediately after he was done, until I remembered that I had scheduled a neurology appointment for Evan at about that same time. It turned out well that Oliver was able to get a few more things done than he would have if we had left. We relaxed and packed up quite a few things on Friday night and left early on Saturday morning. We drove to Logan to pick up Beth, bought some delicious Einstein bagels and drove to Twin Falls to stay with Charlie, Chelsea & the three blonde beauties of the family. What a great trip we had! As always, we were welcomed into their home and felt right at home. What fun adventures we had!
Shortly after lunch, we went to Dierkes Lake. The water was freezing! Luckily there was a concrete barrier that provided a little bit of water on the beach side that was a little warmer and kept our babes as happy as can be.

Chelsea, Andrea & Ryan building a sand castle.

Loving the water, even without a proper swimsuit.

 Charlie & Oliver decided to rent a kayak and almost everyone took a little trip around the lake.

Oliver, Macy & Beth

Oliver, me and our little navigator Ryan

Chelsea, Andrea & Charlie

Beth & Oliver

At the end of our trip to the lake, Charlie, Oliver & I went off the diving board into the frigid water and then did a little cliff jumping. I'll admit to being overly freaked out and needed a lot of convincing before I was able to do it. Oliver jumped twice!

That giant splash is me!

We came home and had some delicious dinner and warm showers before heading out again to another fun event. Some of Charlie & Chelsea's friends had invited them to the drive in. So we ventured out to the drive in theater and got to watch "Epic". The drive in was fun. Evan enjoyed it a lot with all of the vehicles coming and going before hand and then even enjoyed the movie.
Sunday morning brought church and then a relaxed and fun afternoon. Evan was taken on several walks throughout the afternoon and then we ended the night at Rock Creek Park where we played "pooh sticks" watched birds(swallows and an oriole) and played at the playground.

Beth & Andrea

Happy for another walk.

Drop the sticks!

Who won?

Playgrounds are fun

Hi Evan! Why is Charlie jumping over Ryan?

Learning how to do monkey bars

What's the password? 

Smiling for the flash!

Hiding from Evan

Monday morning we drove out to Balanced Rock. We had a great hike up to the rock and around. The kids did well. Evan didn't want to go up and dug his heels in often.

Our little mule

Don't fall!

"I'm gonna jump down" followed by everyone else saying "No, you're not!"

I love Ryan.

The dads with casualties. Evan got a ride down and not many people were very happy at this point.

One little girl slipped on the way down and the other didn't like all the prickly plants that stuck in her socks, but other than that, it was positive. Chelsea, Beth & I found a cool cave formation.

In the cave looking out.

It was a beautiful day. We had a great little cookout and then all too soon it was time to drive back south to home. When we got to Logan, we ate at Angie's Restaurant before dropping Beth at home and headed back to our happy home. It was a great weekend spent with family and with happy adventures. I think its a great beginning to a great summer.

School's Out for Summer

Our first school year in this new city has come to an end.
Report on Ryan:
Ryan attended a preschool at Grantsville Elementary every Tuesday and Thursday morning for 2.5 hours. He loved being able to go to school and was often thankful for school at the end of those days. I believe around March, he began another preschool that he attended on Wednesday and Friday afternoons. It was at the high school where 7 or 8 students taught for credit in the child development class.

 Ryan felt extra special on those days because at the end of the class, he would be walked down to Daddy's class room where he'd hang out until Oliver was ready to come home after work. He learned a lot and had a lot of fun. I know that going to preschool was a smart move for him to get time just for him and to interact with other children in a way that I was unable to give him. He's a very smart little boy who can solve a problem as long as he remembers to never give up. He was just given an assessment this week in preparation for kindergarten. While there were a few little errors, he passed all their required goals and I believe he will continue to do well as he goes on in school.

Evan:
Evan had a good year though I'm a little less sure of all he accomplished and how much he enjoyed it. I know that the para-educator who would walk him out to me at the end of his 2.5 hours was always very upbeat and expressed how much she'd miss him over the summer.
Oliver:
I don't know what I can offer here when he can express his own opinions if he wishes. I know that Oliver learned a lot, made new friends in fellow teachers and was grateful to become part of the band world again. I love that he is still trying to improve and make new goals for next year already. He did bring home some flowers for me today to say thank you for all that I did for him this year.

Unfortunately, I'm not a dumb woman and new he'd gotten those flowers from somewhere else and didn't just buy them on the way home. He finally said that a student and the student's mother had brought the flowers to him to thank him for the extra work Oliver'd put in to help this student this year. He was a bit taken aback because he couldn't remember anyone ever giving him flowers before. I am biased and think he deserves flowers all the time.

Annual Angelman Walkathon

The boys were awoken by a cheery Dad singing, "Today is the Angelman Walk A thon, the walk A thon." It got in my head pretty quick. We also had a very cloudy, rainy day ahead of us. But we packed in the van and were out the door by 8:30 to head to West Jordan for the annual Angelman Syndrome Foundation Walkathon.

We had some awesome supportive family and friends attend this year as well. Natalie & Beth & Keilani along with Nat's boyfriend Dave and Beth's friends Laurel and Kaeli. Before the walk began, a man walked up to Evan and said, "Hi Ev! You can't pull my lanyard today." It was Evan's principal who came to the walk because of a family friend with Angelman Syndrome.

Before the official start, they released three white balloons as the names of any angels who passed away this last year were read. They also sang happy birthday to an angel. Finally the walk began with the reading of the names of each angel as they walked past.

We had kept Evan confined to the stroller for the time prior to the walk start because it was rainy and windy and the ground was very wet. We set him free to walk the mile which he did with energy and joy. He kept walking backward and forward in order to say hi and hold hands to each of us in our little group and the groups before and behind us. When Beth came over to walk with us in between the start and the ending of the walk, Evan got overly excited and kept searching her out to give hugs.

While we were walking, the weather stayed clear and a little sunny. After everyone walked across the finish line, they had food and games for everyone. There was a raffle of a ton of items, a face painter and a candy cannon. There were 2 Ipads given away which was fantastic. Sadly, we didn't get either one.

 Ryan was basically living at the playground before and after the walk itself and I really enjoyed seeing familiar faces and a few new ones. I'm grateful for a little community of individuals who understand what we're going through and hopefully can inspire me to improve Evan's life and set higher goals.

Mothering

The verb "mother" means to give origin or rise to; assume as one's own; or to care for or protect like a mother; to act maternally toward.
I guess I've been giving a few thoughts to mothers and celebrating Mothers' Day. I read these articles last week. Pat Your Back & Toot Your Horn by Emily Watts. The Nevers I Never Knew I'd Love by Brooke Stone. Appreciating Light by Becky which was partially inspired by Kara Sherman's Mother's Day 2013 post. Don't Call Me Mommy--Unless I Birthed You by C Jane Kendrick. A friend of mine who has not been able to have children of her own shared this article as she declared she'd be taking a break from facebook during the week that often focuses on mothers. An open letter to pastors {A non-mom posts about Mother's Day} by Amy.
These are all good thoughts on being a woman and how we evaluate ourselves and others. I haven't taken the time to think about all the things I'm good at or the blessings I have given myself or my family. For some reason, it's easier to think about all the things I need to improve or the challenges I have in my life or or or.
A few days ago, the high school band had their end of the year concert with a dinner beforehand. I ultimately decided to go to the dinner with the boys because Oliver said he'd like us to be there and I needed to get out of the house. We got there and Evan was immediately put in his stroller. I walked him around a little bit while Oliver and Ryan stood in the food line. Then I decided to see how he'd do out of the stroller. He immediately began running everywhere. I was okay with it to begin with then he ran from one side of the room to the other to get to the vending machines on either side. Unfortunately, that straight line was also where the tables with food were. So I ended his running and put him back in the stroller and headed to an empty corner of the room. Oliver brought us some cake. We sat content for a while and then  it was time for the band members to get things ready for the concert. I decided to go on a brief little walk, but before I could, Evan suddenly was unhappy and started screaming and pushing the stroller backwards. Oliver said something along the lines of, "I'm sorry." My response: "Well, this is our life." Oliver: "Yes, but it can be so hard." Yes, it can be so hard.

I thought of that statement again on Sunday. During sacrament meeting, Evan hit his "I'm done being here" point and so I took him out of the chapel to the foyer. I tried to sit with him on the couch in the foyer and while I did that, the primary got up to sing two songs for Mother's Day.  I thought how sad it was that I didn't get to watch Ryan singing. And to throw more pity on myself, I began the awful thought process of thinking what it would be like to have Evan up there singing to me and able to sit through sacrament meeting and go to primary. It was a mistake, and I quickly stopped that thought line and let Evan go. He began running laps through the hallway which is a nice oval. To sum up, it can be so hard. I do not do everything I can for my sons. I am still very selfish in life and do not always put my children first (a comment made by the son of Sister Eyring, the wife of President Henry B. Eyring who is a member of the First Presidency of the Church, that she always put the children first). I don't know what to do in a lot of cases.
I have found myself yelling at Ryan a lot. Telling him no is always entertaining as I can be met with "Mom, I don't love you anymore because I don't like being told no," or "Mom, you make me sad." Although, part of me is grateful that he is learning to voice his thoughts and talk about it, the other part of me hates to have my 4 year old say such things. I know that I have a lot to learn about helping my sons grow and learn, but it can be so hard.

As you can see, negatively evaluating yourself or your life is easy. In fact, in those negative moments, it is extremely challenging to think of something I do well. On Saturday, we went on a drive to a canyon we hadn't been able to visit during the wet winter. Oliver stopped at one beautiful spot to photograph and collect a few flowers. This isn't a quick thing, so I tried to get Evan out. Ryan was out helping Dad, but the bugs were out too. Evan seems to be very sweet because the bugs love him. I tried to spray everyone, but Evan just didn't want to be out exploring. Unfortunately, on our nature trips, he is usually unwilling to go on a hike or whatever. I finally got him out of the hot van and made him, unhappily, walk up the road a ways. He was so angry with me and wanted to go back to the van, but because he doesn't like to walk on unstable ground, he wouldn't go by himself. I finally sat down in the grass on the side of the road and got him to sit in my lap. He calmed down. He played with the grass, pulled leaves off a few plants, threw a few rocks. He wasn't the most content, but at least he wasn't screaming. I was grateful in that moment for the peace I felt. The changing rolling clouds above, the green grass and bushes. The glimpse of Ryan and Oliver down the hill. The view of the Great Salt Lake, Grantsville, and the mountains. I hope Evan felt some of that peace as well. he needs more quiet moments like that and less with the sound of the TV.

I am grateful for the women who shared their thoughts in these articles. I'm grateful for the women who shared their thoughts during church yesterday. I'm grateful for the women I've gotten to know over the last few months who have supported and cared for my family. I'm grateful for the friends I have who are far from me and who I haven't spoken to in years for they have all mothered me in different ways. I'm grateful for my sisters, sisters-in-law and mother-in-law whom I know love me even though I may not get to be with them as much as I'd like. I'm grateful for my beautiful mother who loves people, loves to serve, loves the earth and loves me. I'm grateful for my sons who I get to mother every day even if I don't do the best job. I'm grateful for my handsome husband who supports me, cares for me and with whom I get to discover parenting.
I'm grateful that the Lord has given us the chance to mother each other as we build relationships. As the definition from dictionary.com at the beginning of this post says, to mother is to care for or protect like a mother. While adding on that "like a mother" still allows for a lot of different interpretations, the caring and protecting that is done in this world is a beautiful thing. And if I can try my best to do that for those in my life, then that's one thing I want to do well.

Losing My Mind

I am normally an organized person in my brain even if that doesn't show in a physical form. Even though I can't figure out how to arrange items in an orderly fashion, I am always aware of what day it is and what responsibilities are to be done each day. Over the last few weeks, I'm noticing that I am losing track of what day it is multiple times throughout the day. Each day runs into the next or into the one before. Its an unpleasant feeling.
I'n not sure exactly why its happening but I wonder if its because I'm a stay at home mom with no other responsibilities or obligations except to get my children to school on time. As a child, I don't remember this need to know what day it is, but as a student I just was aware of it all. I was a student for a long time and then transitioned into a full time job that had something each day. Monday usually involved meeting with RAs or a manager. Tuesday was a giant day of meetings in the afternoon and evening. Wednesday had a few more meetings and cleaning inspections. Thursday was a day off. Friday could have meetings or cleaning inspections or may lead into my weekend off. Now, it all feels the same. While my children's activities may differ depending on what day it is, mine don't. Perhaps this is one reason why I want to be working with the swim team. It will add dimension to my days and weeks.
In the meantime, I need to figure out how to make the days feel special. Last summer, I started a routine meant to help Ryan understand that each day can mean something different. I didn't follow it perfectly so it didn't become habit, but maybe I need to create something for myself. I've been trying to come up with a weekly routine for myself, but I don't think defining each day by what I clean will be enough to get over losing my mind. Any suggestions?

You're Gonna Miss This

You're gonna want this back

You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast

These are some good times

So take a good look around

You may not know it now

But you're gonna miss this

 by Trace Adkins

There are a lot of things I won't miss about our previous home, but I will miss not having any neighbors behind us. I will miss the trees. And I will miss the big mirrors in the living room. I'm grateful for the home we had, just s I'm grateful for the home we've moved into.

Home

What a week.
Last Monday, we started to pick a few paint colors for two rooms we wanted to paint.

Guest room pre-paint

Tuesday, we started painting. Natalie came up to help and Grandma & Grandma came to watch boys.

Yes, Natalie, I see the smiley face you created over there.

On Wednesday, Grandpa flew into town and joined the party and we started moving boxes.

Our bedroom is red!

The guest room...or the Green room.

Thursday got more crowded but more helpful when Charlie, Chelsea & the girls arrived. Grandpa put up all the safety gates, Oliver and Charlie hung all the curtains, the painting somehow got finished. We got everything over that was important for sleeping in our new home.

Measuring for the curtain rods.

On Friday, we tried to get some more things done and moved and sent Charlie & Chelsea to Utah County for some activities for the other side of the family.
On Saturday, Chris & Beth came to visit before heading to Utah County. After a frustrating morning on the phone, we eventually headed to Utah County ourselves. Natalie & Dave watched the boys while Oliver & I went to Mt. Timpanogos Temple to be a part of a big day for Oliver's grandma. It was a blessing to be in that sacred building after a long week. We shared a long stressful dinner with all that were present, spent a little time at the Creekhouse and then drove home.
Sunday was a little less busy in that we did rest, but Oliver & I gave talks in church. It was our last Sunday in the Deseret  Peak Ward and we were a little sad to see our time with those people end, but have been so grateful for all we've learned and shared with them.We both found it interesting that we were asked to base our talks on Elder Richard G Scott's conference address "For Peace at Home." I shared this experience from last week as well as a story from Elder Franklin D Richards talk given in 1983 called "Be a Peacemaker." And I talked about how Elder Scott's main point was that if you want to have peace in your home-because who doesn't?- you need to have peace in your heart and that can only be achieved by centering your life on Christ. Oliver shared eight of the very different topics Elder Scott mentions in his talk intermixed with his own experiences and thoughts. I was especially touched when he shared the point on service and relayed his favorite story about Christ in the book of John when Christ goes to the pool of Bethesda and heals the man who had been their for 38 years without being helped by anyone else. I'll say that its been awhile since Oliver has had tears come to his eyes and I was very touched.

Analyzing the new pinwheel.

Another Monday came by and we got another visit from Charlie, Chelsea, the girls, Grandpa, Grandma & Grandma Betty. It was a very successful afternoon. The women went to our old house, finished packing things into the van and cleaned it like its never been cleaned before. When Oliver, the boys, and I went back over to fix the thermostat, remove a towel rod, remove the old safety gate, and a couple other things, we were able to ask the manager to come check us out right then. He was so impressed that we had cleaned as well as we did that he forgave us for the many broken blinds and a broken window. Apparently, due to the specific situation of this complex, he normally receives trailers back in a more trashed condition. So...yay! We got a visit from a neighbor down our new street with a plate of brownies(which are sadly, almost gone due to ...me.) and the  boys played outside with a few neighbors.
Tuesday started way too early for Oliver & Evan when Evan decided to be awake at 4am. But other than that, the day started fine with Oliver going to school, Evan & Ryan being taken to school and I finished cleaning out our storage shed. Then I played some volleyball and got the boys. For whatever reason, I didn't have a fantastic day yesterday, but it was the last day of April and marked the last of our responsibilities to our old house and our old storage shed. Now our garage is overflowing with boxes that were packed haphazardly and need to be looked through. The house now needs to be organized, cleaned, and beautified. I'm still tired. But as I sit here in our new home, it feels like its ours.

Our happy family