Christmas in Reality

So after all my philosophical ramblings about Christmas, I thought I should report on our Christmas reality.

We had the blessing of sharing some time with Oliver's family. On Christmas Eve, we had a party of favorite snacks followed up by a birthday cake & song for Jesus. As we were driving home, I told Oliver that I really wanted to have the tree up this year. So after the boys were put to bed, I went downstairs, got the tree, put it up and strung it with lights. We had a few presents to wrap and while I didn't get a photo of it, I felt very content and happy to sit there for a minute with the lit tree and the humble gathering of gifts beneath it. There is definitely something positive to be said about the excitment of being able to give your children an exciting morning.

Christmas morning was later than many, I'm sure, we got up around 9am. Ryan(spurred on by Oliver) was "wow"ed by the tree which actually made me happy to hear. It was fun to see Ryan figure out opening presents and to see Evan enjoy the paper and such. I was thrilled by their enjoyment of the gifts bought from the dollar store and was again grateful for the generosity of strangers when Ryan and Evan were really excited about their toy trucks. The tree was great. Ryan was fascinated by the lights and Evan was a little too fascinated-evidenced when I heard a crack and see little red pieces inside his mouth. So the lights got turned off and the tree came down a few days later.

We then made orange rolls for breakfast and decided to head over to visit the family again for the rest of Christmas day. The rest of the day was full of gift opening and puzzle fitting and children chasing and nap taking and (for me-song singing & being surprised by a beautiful coat from Ollie) and a delicious meal presented by Oliver's mom. I believe Oliver said, "this is my favorite meal ever."

And so I came to the determination that Christmas needs to be a perfect melding of tradition and spiritual connection for you to, at the end of the day, feel like it has been a beautiful blessed day and even more connected to the Lord.

This was one of our treasures from the day, a beautiful hand painted egg purchased in Kiev from Oliver's dad.

How do I feel? Like it was a beautiful blessed day and when I put my babies to bed that night and held my husband close, that I was forever grateful for the birth of the Savior who has given me purpose in this life, who has allowed it to be possible for me to have an eternal goal to return home to heaven and our Heavenly Father.

The massive amounts of chocolate that we ended up coming home with, will also be sitting with me for months. I hope your Christmas was as merry.

Sharing Jars

I'll share my Savior's love
By serving others freely.
In serving I am blessed.
In giving I receive.
He knows I will follow Him.
Give all my life to Him.
I feel my Savior's love,
the love he freely gives me.

4th verse of I Feel My Savior's Love by Ralph Rodgers Jr., K. Newell Dayley, and Laurie Huffman

Anyone heard of Christmas Jars? It's a book that came out a little while ago. Big hype, but not big enough for me to feel the need to go read it. It was just a title I'd seen around. Last week, my mother, mother-in-law, and aunt-in-law, were all a bit shocked that I'd never read it before. So I knew I'd have to find time to read it soon. The opportunity came last night when said aunt dropped some books off to share in the communal book closet and in the stack sat this book. I claimed it and easily read it in a few hours last night(after the boys were asleep which means I didn't go to sleep early enough). I loved it. I cried. I began thinking many many thoughts and felt the need to write about it.

I won't ruin the story for anyone, but I will talk about the concept of the Christmas Jar-to share a monetary gift with someone else at Christmas time to help brighten their spirits. From my previous post, you can tell I've been thinking about proper ways to celebrate the holiday(and I apologize for the disconnected thoughts there). One of the things I found interesting was that one of the characters mentions how they keep this jar year round to place their spare change daily and that in itself gives them this extra blessing. They think about this anonymous gift they'll be giving away. They think about how they get to share what they can with someone else. What a blessing that is to in effect have the spirit of Christmas year-round.

I don't know about you, but I am definitely of the card carrying generation. Debit card, credit card, gift card when I have one, BYU ID (for our meals). The only time I have cash is so I can transfer it over to laundry quarters. So this is an interesting concept of collecting spare change throughout the year. It is kind of hard to share what extra you may have if you have to ask if they accept Visa.

Along with that beautiful story I read, we have had some beautiful experiences of our own that also involve a lot of tears. For the last two Christmases(and this one is still 4 days away), our little family of four has been blessed in unique ways. First, through the early intervention program we have worked with for Evan's development, an outside source has offered to provide gifts for the families in the program. Today, we picked up a bag with Evan & Ryan's names on it. As I carried it to the car, I was struck by the generosity of strangers to buy gifts for children they don't know. Thank you to those who participate in all of the local programs offered for gift giving such as angel trees and Toys for Tots. You are being blessed in many ways by offering your kindness to others as well as blessing those who recieve your sweet offering.

The second part of our unique experience has been a mystery, which for me, has been difficult to repress the urge to solve. It also involves generous hearts. I can't even describe the awe I feel, much like some of the recipients from the Christmas Jars stories, when I try to think of why our family was chosen by these people whom we can't put a face to. We know they know us at some level because they knew where we live and they know our names. It brings me to tears to think that someone out there found us to be the ones they wanted to share with. I feel that perhaps my children are worthy of recieving such a gift, but I am far too greedy and far too unworthy to recieve it. But thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

The story isn't over. We also had another experience today. As a rare thing, we actually had cash in our car as we were leaving a parking lot, a crowded, busy parking lot. There was a man standing at a stop sign holding a cardboard sign that said he was homeless and at the bottom had written Merry Christmas. I have tried to share some of what I have with those who seem to be in need of it, but never going completely out of my comfort zone, and as mentioned before, I hardly ever have cash in my pockets to even pass on. But today, I remembered the cash and Oliver quickly turned around and made another loop through the parking lot to get back to this man. As we approached the stop sign and I rolled down the window to hand him some bills, he took my hand and with sincere gratitude thanked us. It felt like we were one of the few who may have stopped to offer him anything. He didn't look at how much we had given him, but was so genuinely thankful that we were even willing to give him a single dollar. I hope that he gets to where he needs to go and I am grateful that he shared such kind words with us as well.

I can't express enough how thankful I am for the generosity of others, both those who have given of themselves and given beautiful gifts to us with their name & love attached, as well as those quiet strangers who may not get to see the look of awe and gratitude when we open their gift. Thank you. It takes an individual who I think we may be starting some new traditions in our home and I hope that it increases our level of kindness and generosity to others and get closer to the level I have felt from our family, friends, and quiet strangers.

How silently, how silently

The wondrous gift is giv'n!

So God imparts to human hearts

The blessings of his heav'n.

No ear may hear his coming;

But in this world of sin,

Where meek souls will receive him, still

The dear Christ enters in.

3rd verse of O Little Town of Bethlehem by Phillips Brooks

Merry Christmas.

White Christmas?

*WARNING*

Megan rambles beyond this point

Christmas is a happy time. I know it can also be a stressful time, but overall, this time of year is beautiful and full of love. I've been thinking about what we do to ourselves during this season. We listen to certain music, we watch certain movies, we wear certain colors, we decorate our personal spaces in a certain way all in order to help instill a certain feeling within ourselves. So what is that feeling we want. The "reason for the season" is mentioned often as a subtle reminder to not go overboard. We celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. President Gordon B. Hinckley said this in his 1997 Christmas message titled "A Season for Gratitude":
We honor His birth. But without His death, that birth would have been but one more birth. [...] We love Him. We honor Him. We thank Him. We worship Him. He has done for each of us and for all mankind that which none other could have done. God be thanked for the gift of His Beloved Son, our Savior, the Redeemer of the world, the Lamb without blemish who was offered as a sacrifice for all mankind.
How many times do we actually contemplate this aspect of the holiday? What we are truly celebrating?
In contrast to that, this time is also full of traditions. Traditons are an important part of living on this earth with your family. dictionary.com claims a tradition is "the handing down of statements, beliefs, legends, customs, information, etc., from generation to generation, esp. by word of mouth or by practice." We all have traditions that we feel are important to hold to make it feel more like Christmas. Omelets & orange rolls for Christmas breakfast, decorating the Christmas tree together, looking at the Christmas lights together, we all have our own little things that make it feel more like the holiday we knew growing up. I believe that it is in the human nature to reminisce and make Christmas feel like it did when we were younger.
Traditions. Gift giving is a big tradition. And I think this can also be where we may confuse our children. I've always been in love with the idea of receiving a gift. There's something about the anticipation and suspense of waiting along with the pure joy of knowing that someone cares for you and wanted to express that by giving you a gift. Not that I expect a gift, just that I appreciate it if I recieve one. But why do we focus so much on gift giving during this season? And does it cause more problems than solutions? Children can often get greedy by requesting certain gifts, or a large amount of gifts from their parents or from Santa Claus. I understand part of the encouragment given to list making. When giving a gift, you want to give that loved one something they will want or will use so that it doesn't just become junk in their lives(because who needs more junk?). I do love the tradition of gift giving. I may not be great at it, but I enjoy thinking of a specific individual and trying to make them happy by giving them an item they would appreciate. While its good to tell them you love them, giving a gift can be a way to show that love as well.
Are our traditions in the right place? Think of our movies and music that we are entertained by during this season. I LOVE Christmas music, movies, stories, and books. I've noticed some trends though. Some of our music focuses on the need for it to be winter for the holiday. Have you ever dreamt of a white Christmas? I have. Have you ever felt like you were walking in a winter wonderland? I have. Does Santa Claus show up in places that aren't winter? Can you even have Christmas in warm weather? Well, of course, I mean how else would I know that Mele Kalikimaka is the thing to say on a bright Hawaiian Christmas day. I recently read the book Skipping Christmas by John Grisham. It's been made into a movie which is fun and cheesy as most Christmas movies are. As I was reading this story, I felt some connection to the main characters. Despite the biggest concern of spending $6,000 on previous Christmases, part of the family was not going to be present so they didn't feel like it would be as worth it to do all of the traditions they did yearly. The way the author was able to do this with these characters is by making them a family who wasn't overly involved in a church. It's never mentioned that they went to church and it was just a very interesting concept that was written about. I always feel the need to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" on Christmas Eve, or near it. It isn't necessarily all about Christmas, but it does make you feel one of those feelings of Christmas. A reminder of how much you love you have for your family and be grateful for the lives we have been given.
So traditions can be good or they can be overwhelming. Elder Donald L. Hallstrom mentioned the following in 2001:
Uplifting traditions play a significant role in leading us toward the things of the Spirit. Those that promote love for Deity and unity in families and among people are especially important. The power of tradition, however, poses a significant danger. It can cause us to forget our heavenly heritage. To achieve eternal goals, we must reconcile our earthly culture with the doctrine of the everlasting gospel. This process involves embracing all that is spiritually elevating in our family and societal traditions and discarding that which is a barrier to our eternal view and achievement.
So how do you do it all? How do you have the traditions that uplift and unite your family without placing a barrier to the progression that we all need?
We each have to answer this in our own way, and I can't say that I have the answers even for our own little family. I can say that I appreciate hearing how others deal with this decision for their own lives. One family I know of gives each of their children one gift and that's it. I know that other families make a great effort to enforce the story of Christ's birth by reading the story as a family, acting it out, or doing many other things. These are beautiful. And in reality, I think that we can all feel the spirit of Christmas in the way that connects to us. President Hinckley shared these thoughts in the same message as listed previously:
Christmas is more than trees and twinkling lights, more than toys and gifts and baubles of a hundred varieties. It is love. It is the love of the Son of God for all mankind. It reaches out beyond our power to comprehend. It is magnificent and beautiful.
It is peace. It is the peace which comforts, which sustains, which blesses all who accept it.
It is faith. It is faith in God and His Eternal Son. It is faith in His wondrous ways and message. It is faith in Him as our Redeemer and our Lord.
We testify of His living reality. We testify of the divinity of His nature. In our times of grateful meditation, we acknowledge His priceless gift to us and pledge our love and faith. This is what Christmas is really about.
I am grateful for so many things in my life. I have so many individuals who I love and have made a huge impact in my life. I am grateful for the opportunity I have to wonder, discuss, and make a choice about how I live my life and how to raise my children. I hope that I can celebrate Christmas in a way to bring myself closer to my children and them closer to Heavenly Father. I hope your Christmas is not stressful, but is beautiful and a season of love.

A compiled update for the week

I don't normally do this, but just wanted to write a few things that don't necessarily have anything to do with each other.

#1 Evan started preschool this week. He was the only kid in class this week so it wasn't entirely normal yet. I took him on Monday and Oliver took him on Wednesday. He wouldn't wander far from either of us either day. One advantage of not having other children to worry about, his teacher allowed him to take his time exploring the school a little bit and just get used to being in an unfamiliar place. We're hoping that we can get to the point where we can leave him toward the beginning of the hour and come back toward the end. Ideally.

#2 I finally took a picture of our new bedroom curtains that Oliver's mom made for us. We haven't had curtains in there before and the room is really light throughout the night but this has made it better. We still need to put up one more section, but I love them.

#3 I did a little decorating for Christmas. We have several nativity scenes and last year we didn't have a spot to display them because of the reach of Evan. While Evan's reach hasn't shortened, I did find a spot where I could place the scenes. I cleared off the books and things that we didn't look at regularly enough to have them in the living room, and replaced them with these nativity scenes, our Christmas movies and music, some music books, scriptures, a vase of ornaments and a bowl of mint M&Ms(which are not lasting very long). The three black cases are our DVD collection. They have to sit there since Ryan has figured out zippers. These shelves make me happy. What makes you happy today?

Thanksgiving

Just to let you know, we are thankful for many things. We're thankful for the opportunity to be with family on a tradition rich holiday. We're thankful for safety in driving south. We're thankful for exploring back highways in Utah where there is little or no traffic instead of using the jampacked interstate. We're thankful for a grandma who cooked a delicious Thanksgiving meal and kept us all well fed for 3 days. We're thankful for Christmas lights in a cactus garden.

photo courtesy Ethel's Chocolates website(see link above)

We're thankful for cheesy Christmas movies interspersed with random football games(Oliver was a little outnumbered by women). We're thankful for card playing. We're thankful for family members who love playing with our children, which sometimes offered us a break from chasing them down. We're thankful for Ryan's first opportunity to play with two cute dogs. We're thankful for stopping on a whim in St. George and finding a craft fair where they were showing the BYU vs. Utah game and allowing us to walk around for almost an hour to energize the boys. We're thankful for a constant battle between a Spanish station and the football game on the same radio frequency. We're thankful to have NOT been the one in the accident ahead of us on the interstate on the way home. We're thankful that the accident happened right after a rest stop where we could park and let the boys run around while it got cleared up. We're thankful to have heard the winning play by BYU on the radio while at the rest stop. We're thankful for a home that was clean when we came home(not always the case when we go on vacation). We're thankful for each other and the joy we get from our lives together.