Donors

Ever donated blood? I have. Many times. You can donate blood every 56 days and my father used to do that. I don't know if he still does, but he definitely has given a lot of his blood over the years. This year I started to donate blood again(Since first getting pregnant with Evan, I haven't donated blood) and I am ready to give my second donation. I feel like it is fulfilling to give blood.

Once upon a time when I gave blood, I passed out afterward. Kind of scary, but it was all my fault. I hadn't eaten breakfast that day and maybe not lunch either. My body was not ready to give anything to anyone else because it was trying to take care of itself. Red Cross's website says that before giving blood you need to maintain a diet of iron rich foods, get a good night's rest, drink extra water, and eat a healthy meal before hand while avoiding fatty foods that may alter test results. After donating blood, it may take 24 hours to replenish the plasma, and 4-6 weeks for complete red blood cell replacement. Donating blood is a serious thing, a life saving thing, and an important part of the medical community.

This week I've been feeling a little like I did in that moment several years ago. Passed out. Giving of myself but not being ready to give. Needing a lot of time to recover. But unfortunately its not just my body that will restore itself, its my emotions. It's my ability to parent. It has been strained. This week, I feel like I have not been ready. Somehow I've neglected something beforehand which is causing me to break down even in the midst of giving. Unfortunately, I can't avoid the giving. I have to give. I am a mother. I can't get away from that. I don't get 56 days to replenish before giving of myself again.

This coming week for work, we are focusing on wellness. There is something called a wellness wheel that emphasizes 6 points in our lives that if left unbalanced can leave you unbalanced. I know I have been neglecting certain aspects of my personal wellness. I've been neglecting alot of my personal wellness. Physical, Spiritual, Financial, Social, Emotional. Intellectual is doing okay. I need to stop being selfish. It's so much easier to do work assignments than focus on my children. It's so much easier to eat horribly than feed myself or my children right. It's so much easier to sit and read or watch a movie than work out. blah blah blah. I've not been ready. I just read a little story in an old Friend magazine. The ending paragraph reprimands me a bit:

Sarita closed her eyes and tried to imagine what it had been like six years before, when the Bishop had placed Sarita in Mamacita’s arms. She could have said, “No, Bishop. No baby for us. We are too busy and too tired. She might make noise when we are on the phone. She might aggravate us or ruin my makeup or break something.” But no, Mamacita and Papacito had opened their arms and their hearts to Sarita and thanked Heavenly Father for her in every family prayer. By Anne Yelvington Lynch, Friend, November 1990

I have been too busy and too tired. I have been very easily aggravated.

Julie B. Beck in last April's General Conference said "Revelation can come hour by hour and moment by moment as we do the right things. . . . Mothers can feel help from the Spirit even when tired, noisy children are clamoring for attention, but they can be distanced from the Spirit if they lose their temper with children. Being in the right places allows us to receive guidance. It requires a conscious effort to diminish distractions, but having the Spirit of revelation makes it possible to prevail over opposition and persist in faith through difficult days and essential routine tasks. Personal revelation gives us the understanding of what to do every day."

My blood may replenish on its own without too much effort on my part. I can donate blood easily if I remember to do a simple thing like eat breakfast. The ability to be a good mother can be as easy if I just take the time to remember that there are more important things in my life than just getting through the day or completing a work assignment. If I can think through what I need to do before giving of myself like Red Cross instructs future blood donors, then maybe I can stop myself from passing out or losing my temper. If I can balance myself then I can be a better mother to my children and a better wife to my husband. I need to do this. A while ago, I was reading some blogs from Angelman parents and came across one explaining the importance of keeping herself in shape in order to lift and carry her teen Angelman child. While that can be a good motivator for getting in shape, I need to be in shape in all aspects of my life to make sure that my children are taken care of.

I'm going to give blood again soon. But I have to give myself to my children now. Thankfully, they are pretty forgiving as I make mistakes. But I hope I can stop making so many.

Taking a Break

Last week, Oliver had Spring Break. I decided to take time off and we made a short drive up to visit Oliver's brother Charlie and family. Their sister Beth also made the drive up and we had a good 4 days with everyone. They were wonderful hosts, letting us take over their daughters' room, and invade their house. We spent a lot of time relaxing while the boys played with the girls and had room to roam. It wasn't the warmest place we could have chosen for spring break, but it was probably the most relaxing. Ate yummy food together, watched basketball games, played games together (for me, this is a HUGE deal! Since Evan became mobile, games have been almost non existent in our house and that is a sad thing), did a little siteseeing and I read almost a whole book.

Chelsea has a mini day care so we helped watch two little girls on Thursday and Friday. That was exciting and dramatic! :) But on Friday, Evan was pulling everyone's hair. Even those who have short hair, like Ryan and little Andrea. And I was tired and I finally got to the point where I decided to take him for a drive to get away from people. Of course, Ryan was going to throw a giant fit if I didn't take him too, so while everyone was either sleeping or playing with little girls, I drove my sons around Twin Falls, Idaho. Its a nice small town, population size is similar to my hometown and has a college campus, just like my hometown. It's nice and flat surrounded by fields, just like my hometown. Biggest difference? The giant gorge separating it from the highway. The boys and I drove around, found the college campus, saw some horses because the college was hosting a rodeo that weekend, drove out over the bridge and then stopped to look at the river far far below us. There's a nice little lookout spot, but when you have two boys that don't listen to their mother on important things like safety, I didn't get a chance to take a photo of the very picturesque place. We got back in the car and played at a park for a little while before heading to the grocery store and back to the funhouse.

I don't know where this hat came from, but Ryan thought it was the coolest thing ever.

While there were a few bad moments of grumpy children, or hair pulling child, it is still good to spend time together. Ryan and Macy have a lot of fun together and since they have both grown (and Ryan can pretend play a lot better now) they have a good time more often than arguing.

On Saturday, we decided to do some siteseeing.
We went to Shoshone Falls just on the edge of town. "Sometimes called the 'Niagara of the West', Shoshone Falls is 212 feet high and flows over a rim 1,000 feet wide." (Thank you Wikipedia). It was misting on us and then the sun went away and we got so cold, but there was a rainbow briefly in the mist. I enjoyed it, but it was much colder than anyone had anticipated. We ate lunch at the park for as long as we could stand the cold and then went to our next fun site. It's currently called "Hole in the Ground." With a personalized tour, we were welcomed right in! I think we're standing in the living room...


That night ended with a mini date with Oliver to buy him some church shoes for Sunday and then we stopped at Perkins for a slice of pie....mmm...pie...

We had a great break and can't thank Charlie, Chelsea, Macy, Andrea and Beth enough for sharing it with us. The one sad thing about it all? When we got home, I felt so cramped...because our whole house could probably fit in their nice and open living room.

March 11th's Eleven

Happy photo happiness!

1. Our March 11th started at 5:30am. If only it wasn't a pattern of the week...

2. At one point during the morning, I drifted off on the couch and Evan rearranged our shoes.


3. Helping! Ryan's favorite activity. I'll take the time here to illustrate a moment we couldn't get on film. When eating at the cafeteria, Ryan deems himself done eating (which we often disagree with), starts running around, and begins helping the cafeteria employees. He puts trays away, he pushes carts and our favorite: job shadowing at the entrance; taking cards, swiping, returning them and then telling the departing patrons goodbye. For like 15 minutes. He's a good little helper. As for this picture, I just needed to document that we were finally cleaning our house after a week of crazy school work for Oliver and a week of sickness for me. Ollie is wonderful you know.

4. Evan was showing signs of fatigue during the cleaning process. It's so sad.
5. We realized this may have been the biggest strawberry Ryan has ever seen in his life. Which he then quickly consumed.

6. Yeah...trying to get a group photo is really hard to do. We're an easily distracted group.

7. But during that time we got to hear an awesome thing out of Ryan's mouth: "It fits perfectly!"

8. We finally went for a walk in the gorgeous 50 degree weather!

9. Happy to be outside!

10. Beth came to visit! Mommy and Daddy were gone, so who knows what happened then! :)

11. I thought it'd be a fun idea to have a plant or two for Ryan to watch grow...we're trying to revive them back to life and only the basil is showing any signs of hope. The cilantro, I fear, is dead.

Procrastination

Throughout my schooling years I was a professional procrastinator. You can ask Oliver, he remembers stories of late nights finishing assignments. I mean serious ones. I could complete an entire research paper in one night and get a fairly good grade. I knew that tendency was in me but since I haven't had to do school assignments in the last several years, I wondered if I was still likely to do that.
I am realizing that, yes, I am still a professional procrastinator. Unfortunately, I won't be able to get a "good grade" even if I start late this time. This time I've procrastinated friendship. I don't like to force myself on people, friendship is something that has always developed slowly for me. This time, I'm losing chances though. There are two fantastic women who have been nearby for the last several months who I would have loved to be in an inner circle with. And a few days ago I found out that my time is being cut short and they will both be gone within the month. I have let my shyness and my homebodiness get in the way of building a friendship with these two women. I don't think I'll ever be able to let them know how much just being acquainted with them has affected me. How I wish I was someone they could rely on and feel love from.
Many know the scriptural line about procrastination, but I'll share the whole scripture now. Alma 34:33
And now, as I said unto you before, as ye have had so many witnesses, therefore, I beeseech of you that ye do not procrastinate the day of your repentance until the end; for after this day of life, which is given us to prepare for eternity, behold, if we do not improve our time while in this life, then cometh the night of darkness wherein there can be no labor performed.
And now, I see the night of darkness coming. There are so many times I've let this happen. I struggle with this.
I once had a former coworker tell me, after I asked if her new coworker was working out, that it was great and that they had decided to be "real friends" and not just work friends. I know she was just explaining her new relationship, but that statement still sticks with me. I wish I was able to be real friends with people.
The last time I had a "real friend" close by was two years ago. and I didn't even make as good of an effort as I should have. I've always felt that relationships are one of the most important things you can gain in this life. But I have not been improving my time while in this life. And I have been allowing the night of darkness...or the time when these people move away, to allow me to stop laboring on that friendship.
So I'm going to try a little harder to be more friendly before these two women and their families move away. I'm going to try a little harder to become a real friend to those who are still here. And I'm going to try a little harder to rebuild relationships with those dear ones who have already moved outside of my immediate area. These relationships are important to me so shouldn't I be helping to cultivate them a little more instead of let them dwindle into memory alone?