Donors

Ever donated blood? I have. Many times. You can donate blood every 56 days and my father used to do that. I don't know if he still does, but he definitely has given a lot of his blood over the years. This year I started to donate blood again(Since first getting pregnant with Evan, I haven't donated blood) and I am ready to give my second donation. I feel like it is fulfilling to give blood.

Once upon a time when I gave blood, I passed out afterward. Kind of scary, but it was all my fault. I hadn't eaten breakfast that day and maybe not lunch either. My body was not ready to give anything to anyone else because it was trying to take care of itself. Red Cross's website says that before giving blood you need to maintain a diet of iron rich foods, get a good night's rest, drink extra water, and eat a healthy meal before hand while avoiding fatty foods that may alter test results. After donating blood, it may take 24 hours to replenish the plasma, and 4-6 weeks for complete red blood cell replacement. Donating blood is a serious thing, a life saving thing, and an important part of the medical community.

This week I've been feeling a little like I did in that moment several years ago. Passed out. Giving of myself but not being ready to give. Needing a lot of time to recover. But unfortunately its not just my body that will restore itself, its my emotions. It's my ability to parent. It has been strained. This week, I feel like I have not been ready. Somehow I've neglected something beforehand which is causing me to break down even in the midst of giving. Unfortunately, I can't avoid the giving. I have to give. I am a mother. I can't get away from that. I don't get 56 days to replenish before giving of myself again.

This coming week for work, we are focusing on wellness. There is something called a wellness wheel that emphasizes 6 points in our lives that if left unbalanced can leave you unbalanced. I know I have been neglecting certain aspects of my personal wellness. I've been neglecting alot of my personal wellness. Physical, Spiritual, Financial, Social, Emotional. Intellectual is doing okay. I need to stop being selfish. It's so much easier to do work assignments than focus on my children. It's so much easier to eat horribly than feed myself or my children right. It's so much easier to sit and read or watch a movie than work out. blah blah blah. I've not been ready. I just read a little story in an old Friend magazine. The ending paragraph reprimands me a bit:

Sarita closed her eyes and tried to imagine what it had been like six years before, when the Bishop had placed Sarita in Mamacita’s arms. She could have said, “No, Bishop. No baby for us. We are too busy and too tired. She might make noise when we are on the phone. She might aggravate us or ruin my makeup or break something.” But no, Mamacita and Papacito had opened their arms and their hearts to Sarita and thanked Heavenly Father for her in every family prayer. By Anne Yelvington Lynch, Friend, November 1990

I have been too busy and too tired. I have been very easily aggravated.

Julie B. Beck in last April's General Conference said "Revelation can come hour by hour and moment by moment as we do the right things. . . . Mothers can feel help from the Spirit even when tired, noisy children are clamoring for attention, but they can be distanced from the Spirit if they lose their temper with children. Being in the right places allows us to receive guidance. It requires a conscious effort to diminish distractions, but having the Spirit of revelation makes it possible to prevail over opposition and persist in faith through difficult days and essential routine tasks. Personal revelation gives us the understanding of what to do every day."

My blood may replenish on its own without too much effort on my part. I can donate blood easily if I remember to do a simple thing like eat breakfast. The ability to be a good mother can be as easy if I just take the time to remember that there are more important things in my life than just getting through the day or completing a work assignment. If I can think through what I need to do before giving of myself like Red Cross instructs future blood donors, then maybe I can stop myself from passing out or losing my temper. If I can balance myself then I can be a better mother to my children and a better wife to my husband. I need to do this. A while ago, I was reading some blogs from Angelman parents and came across one explaining the importance of keeping herself in shape in order to lift and carry her teen Angelman child. While that can be a good motivator for getting in shape, I need to be in shape in all aspects of my life to make sure that my children are taken care of.

I'm going to give blood again soon. But I have to give myself to my children now. Thankfully, they are pretty forgiving as I make mistakes. But I hope I can stop making so many.