Relationship Advice

So on our latest trip to Vegas, Oliver and I made the drives a bit quicker there and back by reading aloud the first book in the Wheel of Time Series by Robert Jordan. I finally conceded to reading these books after several years of fighting it. My previous arguments being that a single book is 800 pages or more and there are 11 books in the series and I didn't want to commit myself to such a large series quite yet. But I've had some enlightenment recently about relationships and have decided to change my ways.
This enlightenment came a few weeks ago. I was watching a morning show called Studio 5 that's taped here in Utah and they had Matt Townsend from Townsend Relationship Center on to talk about "Doing what your spouse loves--with a smile". Basically discussing that a relationship will last if both parties are benefitting from it and if you are spending time together you will grow closer together. As I was sitting there listening, I had some thoughts come to mind that I don't normally like to share with...well, with anyone...so when later on in the show they announced that Matt would be answering questions live at the end of the show, I allowed myself to write in and ask a question. To my amazement, my email was one of the few read at the end of the show and his words earlier and again after my question have been very helpful to me over the last few weeks. (If you'd like to see and listen, you can click on the link at the beginning of the paragraph).
Anyway. One of his steps was to "try everything 3 times." After talking with Oliver and having a nice discussion, he jokingly mentioned the Wheel of Time books and recieved a glare and a laugh from me. So I gave in. And it hasn't been horrible, in fact I have always loved reading books aloud with Oliver...especially on road trips. And it has been fun to have Oliver be so excited to reread this first book(he's now on the 9th or 10th one--several thousand pages after the beginning) and it has provided a fun topic to discuss besides any of the serious conversations we have to have.
I've also been reminded of a quote: "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. " -Rita Mae Brown, Sudden Death, 1983.
I'M INSANE. Or at least have been in the past. My sanity is returning and while I have a long way to go, at least I can feel like I'm living a normal life. Despite the fact that I do not like how I have been able to spend numerous hours wasting away in front of the television(I'm so happy--I haven't even turned it on for the last 3 days & for a week or two before our trip) I was very grateful to have been watching that day and to recieve a little enlightenment that has helped my attitude toward my relationship with my husband.
(Another thought--I've even sometimes had the line from an old commercial from the Church pop in my mind. "Marriage: You're never too far apart when you're still holding hands.")
I'm grateful for all of these media pieces that have actually helped give me pracitical advice about living better. I know that I need to rely on the scriptures more, but sometimes it is nice to have someone say something a little more bluntly when I'm not expecting it. While I can get surprised by a statemetn in the scriptures, I'm already reading them, hoping for something to broaden my mind. :) So the unexpected bits are good too.

Happy Birthday to Me!

The first gift I got on my birthday this year was a good old thunderstorm down in Las Vegas!

We finally made it down to hot Nevada around 2:30am Friday. After sleeping in a bit and finally waking Oliver up(who drove the whole way AND stayed up with Evan after we arrived because he decided 2:30 was a normal hour to be awake), we met our friends the Taylors at Circus Circus. We got to spend a few hours with them wandering and enjoying free entertainment and having dinner. They're an awesome family and I'm glad they let us meet up with them for at least a few hours while they were on their own vacation.

Late that night, Oliver's brother Charlie came in from Arizona with his wife Chelsea and adorable daughter Macy. Over the next day, we got to watch two adorable cousins play together. Chelsea got a very cute photo of the three cousins on that first night, but I don't have a digital copy of it yet.

My birthday was nice & the rain and cooler weather was great. Being able to sit and enjoy it for two hours on Grandma's patio was the best! It reminded me of being home in Illinois during a really good summer storm.

I got some breakfast pancakes from the breakfast mavens(Charlie & Chelsea) complete with sprinkles & a candle.

My boys were a hit though. Grandma's friends came to visit and just loved to watch them and little Macy. Macy and Evan took turns smudging up all of the glass in the cabinets and the glass coffee table didn't last long once we arrived before getting fingerprints on them. Thankfully, Grandma didn't mind one bit. It was a good vacation for me because Grandma Paul, Karen, Charlie, and Chelsea had a great time interacting with Evan and holding Ryan. Even though I know I saw Ryan's first smile 2 weeks ago(just one tiny little thing) he smiled a lot more this last weekend and they caught a few of the smirks on camera. So here's the first official smile on camera by Ryan:

Unfortunately, I spent a lot of Saturday feeling ill, but that didn't stop us from going to P.F. Chang's to celebrate the 4 birthdays in the last month(Oliver, Chelsea, Charlie, and me!). The food was good and I got a complimentary dessert for getting older that day.

Even though we were all stuffed from dinner, my birthday isn't my birthday without fudgesicles. I ran to the store later that night to pick some up and then I was satisfied with the day. Although, spending the day chilled(remember that I was in Las Vegas where the high was above 100 all 3 days we were there) with my entire body aching made me think about being OLD. I know I'm not old agewise, but I certainly felt old that day. I should change some life style habits and make sure I can raise my children before really getting physically or mentally old.

Sunday was spent gathering things together, making it to church, enjoying the lunch Grandma Paul made for us and driving home. Utah was primarily stormy so we enjoyed cooler weather on the way back(another happy blessing because it was also beautiful).

We saw a double rainbow and could actually see the points where it was hitting the ground. Oliver and I were both impressed.

We had a good relaxing weekend in Vegas, even if it was short. Thank you for all those that made it a special one.

The Emotional Roller Coaster of Parenthood

I'm writing this morning, waiting patiently for Evan's fever to drop below 100(which I think it did within this last hour) so that we can maybe get things together and head to Las Vegas like we had planned to do yesterday, thinking I should go change the laundry, while typing one handed because I'm feeding Ryan.

I love my family. I love my sons.

I love Evan's great big smile.

It is very interesting how quickly emotions change as a parent. We have a lot of fun with Evan who has more energy and curiosity than you can imagine. He smiles at any & everything (Seriously...he was having a blast with a small retracting tape measure the other day). He can be so sweet in his little way of a brief hug, or my favorite sign of affection(because I've never known another child to do this), the gentle head butt.

At the same time we have frustration with Evan because when we say "No" he laughs at us. When we're sitting on the couch and he decides he wants to climb to the back of the couch and then use Mommy as a ladder to get higher and grabs a handful of hair to pull himself up and I say "Let go. Open." and he justs laughs because I'm talking to him, I get a little frustrated because he doesn't understand me. Or the fact that Oliver has declared the first family rule to be "we don't eat babies" can explain some other things. When you have a year and a half toddler who has the physical prowess of his age but the comprehension of a much younger child and also trying to take care of the needs of a month old baby, life is a bit complex.

Or the utter sadness you feel at the end of a long day and you finally get into bed to find out that Evan has just woken up, and when you don't get him out of his crib, he starts to scream. when you just start to cry because you are too tired to properly think about whether you are being a good mother by letting him cry, hoping he'll go back to sleep, or if you will be a good mother by getting him out of his crib and letting him play for the next 4 to 6 hours while you lay on the couch randomly falling asleep when he's tearing around in the kitchen and waking up when he wants to come play with your face.

Then there are other days when I realize the blessings we have (Other than the aforementioned joys).

I'm so grateful that Evan has a grandma nearby for the summer so that he can get some more attention right now and I love that he recognizes her and gives her love.

I'm so grateful that Evan has such a high-spirited aunt nearby who has the energy to get him giggling and keep him giggling for a long time. And who can teach him to count since Natalie's favorite thing to do is say "1, 2, 3..." followed by a zerbert or a tickle or a kiss or something random. Yes, Natalie, I had to say random.

Both of these people came by after rather frustrating moments in our daily routine and helped relieve some of the stress and bring me back to the reality of the happy boy I have.

And then there are days like yesterday when I woke up to hear Evan whimpering in his crib and I reached over to find his shirt is damp and he is burning up. Moments when your heart breaks because you know he is uncomfortable and not feeling well, but he can't tell you that except by crying. Yesterday was the first in a month that I had been able to cuddle with him for as long as I did. He was so tired and feverish that he didn't want to go to Daddy and he actually did cuddle with me and fall asleep with me numerous times instead of getting excited and trying to climb on me as we sat on the couch.

I know that every parent reading this can connect to these thoughts in some way or another so it is nice to know I'm not the only parent out there having to deal with this roller coaster. Yes, I know that many of you are better parents than I so you eithe renjoy the ride a little more or have more control over it, while I'm constantly feeling like my little cart is going to fly right over the edges sometimes.

But I do love my boys...all three of them. Even after the most frustrating moments, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else than with these three who keep a smile in my heart(even if it's not on my face).

Wedding memories

My brother-in-law was asking me for a picture of my wedding dress to be posted on my facebook account. This morning I found some, scanned them in and put them up on facebook. But i decided that I would put them up here as well(even though the scanner made them look like very bad quality photos). Oliver and I have been married for 4 years and while I look back on my wedding day, I would change a couple things. One change would be that maybe I would have had someone do my hair, but I was so deliriously happy that I couldn't care less about how I looked that day. And I know for a surety that even though I wanted to make my dress and am glad that I did, I would have gone to try on dresses at a bridal shop to not only have a better idea of the style I liked best, but to just have fun with being engaged! Lukily a few months later, my beautiful sister-in-law was also looking for dresses and we tried dresses on together even though I was already married.

Wow I get off topic pretty easily.

Here you can see a young Oliver and Megan happily standing in front of the beautiful Nauvoo Temple...sign.

Look at how happy we are. Ollie looks studly in a tux.

Posing in front of the doors of the temple. You can see the train of my jacket. For those curious, I made a temple dress and then for the wedding day, made a jacket to go over it. So these with the shinyness are the jacket. Not too shabby, but very shiny.

Three generations of women.

Wedding cake...look at how nice we are being...before the cake was cut. Let's just say that cake ended up inside noses shortly after this picture was taken.

This is the end of the night. Without the jacket, but my dress was so comfortable, I could just lounge in it and talk to Pop. Sadly, two children later, I don't fit into that dress anymore.

Here are my beautiful sisters and mom. Aren't we cute?

So Chris, there you go. Thanks for giving me a reason to look through my photos and to talk about random things going on in my mind.

Nursery Trial #2

Another week, another experience. This week Evan was in a room with 5 other little boys. Oliver was also able to witness a few things and I'll try to transfer some of his views here. He said a few times, "Evan seemed so big today!" In nursery, Evan sits in his own little chair, tries to pay attention to everything, and tries to interact with the other children. Oliver witnessed him pulling on another kid's sleeve in an attempt to communicate. It is very sweet, but from my perspective, he is with a group of children within his same age group that can't quite understand that when he does certain things he isn't trying to be mean.
I'm still not comfortable enough to leave him without Oliver or I in the room with him. It's not that I don't trust the nursery leaders, but there are only two of them and when one is holding a child who is overly distressed about his parent's leaving him in nursery and the other is watching the other 4 children as they play, there arne't exactly enough eyes or hands to make sure that Evan doesn't injure himself or others or that they don't injure him. I am impressed by the ability of these 18-24 month olds to be able to decipher that they shouldn't step on Evan's little toes, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't happen.
So for the moment, Oliver and I are going to switch off some time in the nursery with Evan so the other can attend big people church. Although today I was able to listen in on the priesthood opening exercises because I was feeding Ryan in the mother's lounge and had the speaker on from the chapel where priesthood starts out.

Passport to Reading

I am finally the proud owner of my very own library card! I've had free access to the Harold B. Lee Library here on campus, but yesterday I got a library card for the Provo City Library. And I even checked some things out that the HBLL doesn't even have. (I know what you're thinking--how could the BYU library not have something when it has 5 floors, 98 miles of shelves, and over 6 million items in their collections?!) Well I'll tell you. It doesn't have any videos for kids.
So yesterday I borrowed 3 videos from the Provo City Library. "Signing Time" Vol. 6, "My Baby Can Talk", and "We Sign" Sign & Sing-along Rhymes. While I said this was my passport to reading, it's really my passport to signing videos to remind me of signs and to encourage Evan to start to sign. I soon found out that Evan isn't interested in sitting and watching any of the three, and at least with the first one we watched, Oliver had more fun learning signs than Evan. But we'll keep trying and will see what happens. And I'll still start to read more hopefully. Another thing is that the Provo City Library is a much prettier building than the BYU library in certain aspects. Here, you can decide for yourself:

The entry to the HBLL at night

Provo City Library at sunset

Haircut

Hooray! My hair has been chopped off! I told Oliver that after Ryan was born I wanted to get my hair cut. Ryan is past 3 weeks old and I finally got tired of having Evan use my hair as a rope to help him climb Mount Mama. So I went to the beauty shop, realized it was long enough to donate and cut it up off my shoulders. Hooray! Less is getting pulled, my neck is not as hot and I don't look as old and tired as I might feel. I'll post a picture soon.

What's a little brother for?

A little brother is for cuddling:

Evan will often do cute things to Ryan when I let him get close enough. Wednesday morning, I was feeding Evan yogurt and Ryan was laying on the couch. Ryan started to scream which distracted Evan, eventually dragging him away from the yogurt. He crawled over to the couch, grabbed Ryan's hand and laid his head on Ryan's belly.

A little brother is for zerberting!

Wednesday afternoon, Natalie came to visit. Ryan was on the floor and Natalie was trying to lure Evan to her across the room. He, of course, got distracted by Ryan and crawled to him instead. He leaned down to Ryan's face and the next thing we here is this zerbert sound! For those who have never watched "The Cosby Show" a zerbert is also known as a raspberry. This was the first time I'd ever heard him do this and Natalie that it was the funniest thing she'd witnessed in at least a week.

A little brother is for SMASHing:

Oliver and I used to play the SMASH game(which is basically just taking the other by surprise and leaping on them and yelling "SMASH"). Well, apparently Evan instinctively knew how to play the game because on Thursday, Oliver had put Ryan on the couch, turned his back then turned again when Ryan started to scream to see that Evan had climbed on the couch and was now laying on top of Ryan.

A little brother is for biting:

This won't surprise those who have seen Evan in action. He connects with this world through his tongue--I think everything in our house has entered his mouth at one point in time. And Ryan is no exception. Ryan has such little fingers, toes, knees, elbows, face, etc. that Evan must think Ryan was made for eating.

Despite some of the more troublesome times of trying to protect Ryan from Evan, I'm grateful that he doesn't do this intentionally to be mean. And I love the times when I get to see him just show love to Ryan. Last night in the car, I leaned back to see Evan sitting calmly just holding Ryan's hand in his. Moments like that make me forget about the times when I'm trying to be referee. So last, but not least, little brothers are for loving.

"Are you willing to pray for the nation?"

The Independence Day weekend is coming to a close and I have thought about a lot of different things and had a lot of new experiences. I would say that it started Thursday night when Mom, Natalie, Evan, Ryan, and I went to SCERA Park in Orem to see the Ellis Island simulation. We watched a little video about the people that came through the island. Some stats of the island as well as personal accounts of the feelings they had riding into the harbor and seeing the Statue of Liberty awaiting them. This meant so much to so many because they were coming to a land of freedom. I know I take this for granted. What does it mean and feel like to be free? I know that I feel it because I don't have the experiences of being bound or confined, but do I truly understand that blessing? These millions of people came in and had their dreams fulfilled in coming to a land "where the streets are paved with cheese"(An American Tail). In the park were a couple hundred American flags set up in the shape of a star and at each point of the star(inner and outer) were 10 commitments that an incoming individual had to make before becoming a citizen. They ranged from "Are you willing to fight for the nation?" to "Are you willing to pray for the nation?" Again, some thought provoking questions.


On the morning of the 4th of July, Mom and Evan participated in their first run ever. Mom registered to run the Freedom Run 1 Mile Fun Run. She took Evan in the jogger for a run/walk around Kiwanis Park. The weather was beautiful and while many people did the 1 mile there were even more participating in the 5K and 10K runs that morning. Mom did great! She walked with Evan for just under 15 minutes to finish that mile. Faster than I could have gone. While they were doing that, I got to see several hot air balloons in the sky and then watch one land in the middle of the park! Cool for me! Evan liked watching all the people go by as he had the best seat--being pushed around as he lounged.

He even got his own "Finisher" award.After the run, we woke Nat up and walked down to Center Street to find a seat for the parade. This is the first summer I've actually woken up and taken the time to go see the parade. It was fun to see a lot of different things. All of the high school bands that participated were great, but it was also very interesting to see the emergency vehicles starting out the parade(once I realized where the official beginning of the parade was) followed by a long line of military vehicles with soldiers and veterans driving or being driven down the parade route. Seeing the crowd stand up to cheer, clap, wave and salute these men and women was one of the best parts of the parade. I began to think about my father-in-law who is doing his duty this summer and whom all of his family is very proud. Thank you Dad! While I enjoyed it, my boys did not because it got hot and Evan wanted to be in Mommy's arms which made it difficult to have Ryan in Mommy's arms and so I was grateful to walk back to Natalie's apartment and spend the hotter hours of the day in her cool living room rather than finishing the long walk uphill to our house.

That evening, we went to Springville to have a barbecue that was a 4th of July & Oliver's Grandma's birthday dinner. It was very nice and cool and Craig, Pat, and Karen put together a great meal for us. Craig had purchased some fireworks so we had some fun sitting and watching Craig, David, and Oliver set those off, followed by the neighbors setting off their own and then we came back to the house to try and watch the fireworks from the Stadium of Fire but even up on our top floor balcony, their is a large pine tree in between us and the stadium so the fireworks didn't have their full effect. I'm sorry, Mom, that you didn't get to see the fireworks from a canoe, but I'm glad you were with us.
Last night had fewer celebratory events but as it came to a close, I flipped on the TV and ended up watching the second half of "A More Perfect Union" on KBYU and was reminded of how many things and how much hard work went into forming this nation so many years ago. It wasn't just a one time event on July 4, 1776. It's interesting to think that just a handful of men gathered together to form such an important document as the Constitution for our country so long ago and to think about the size of our current government. One comment made or quoted in this film was by Benjamin Franklin who is trying to encourage everyone to be reasonable and to compromise and he mentions that it is so important to pray because that is what was done by those who wrote the Declaration of Indpendence and the nation was built on the principle of nothing being done without God. "If a sparrow cannot fall without him knowing..."


Some final independence thoughts occurred today during fast and testimony meeting in church where many members shared their testimonies of freedom in this nation which also led to the founding of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. One comment that Oliver made was that he is grateful for the many men and women who love us more than themselves by serving overseas and risking everything for us and he connected that to the One who paid the ultimate price for us because of His love for us.


What an amazing weekend of freedom, independence and love. What a blessing of living in this country where I have never felt binding ties restricting me from dreaming, or acting, or believing. Hooray for a place to worship as I wish, to become whatever I wish, and to have so many opportunities available that I miss most of them just because there are so many. I hope that Evan and Ryan will be able to gain a respect for our country and that I may be able to help them understand the concept of freedom and opportunity that this country offers, that our beliefs and the church offer and that are even available throughout the world.

Nursery Trial #1

Today was our first attempt in nursery for Evan. Due to his developmental delays, I have hesitated where nursery is concerned (and I'm still unsure of how I feel about it). This morning was easy for him because I was in there the entire time and he also had his Grammy to play as well. There were a whopping 12 kids in there(just between the ages of 18 & 24 months) and several adults so it was nothing less than chaotic. I did appreciate the teachers who tried to speak to every child and use their names along with encouraging them to get involved or to sit down or whatever was needing to be done at that time. Since Grammy has plenty of experience in nursery, it was also interesting to see her involved.
Evan enjoyed the first half where everyone was playing. Toys were out and he just crawled around the room and was interested not only in the toys but in seeing what everyone else was doing. Then came snack time. I was impressed by the obedience that these 12 kids had in putting away the toys and sitting down at the tables and waiting patiently for the Cheerios, raisins and cups of water to be brought to them. One young lady has got the nursery snack time down to a science because she turned to an adult and said "more water" instead of getting up to get more of whatever she wanted.
After snack time came story time followed by music time and then the lesson. During these last few, its attempted to be a bit more structured with the kids sitting in a circle and participating, meaning they need to focus on something that isn't necessarily their own choice and usually not something that they can hold and play with. So for my little blonde, this time wasn't as easy to focus on and he was also getting tired. So even though the lesson was fun and about families and about loving brothers and sisters, he was not really into nursery anymore.
Evan has never had a babysitter that wasn't related to him or that hasn't spent a lot of time with him with me around. So another aspect of nursery is as a parent being willing to leave him in someone else's arms. I know they are loving and caring, but when there are so many children and Evan is a non walking, non verbal 20 month old, I kind of worry about him being left without me who can focus on him completely. A few more prayers of faith and we'll see what happens as time goes on.