The Game's afoot!

The game was afoot. It's not anymore. I finished it. I read the entire collection of Sherlock Holmes. A few years ago, Oliver and I purchased this fat book in the month of October thinking it'd be fun to read the little stories together around Halloween. That didn't happen. And then Oliver found it again a while ago and read the first story in the collection. And it was nothing like we expected. I then took over the book and read it pretty regularly. The short stories were great to read in bed. I could get through the short ones in 20 or 30 minutes and I could easily put it down after that because I'd finished a story. It wasn't leading to the next chapter and it was entertaining. I also liked holding the hefty book and it looks so cool that I felt like I was reading this old collection. I hope books never disappear. But now what? What do I read now? Any suggestion is a great one.

Rambling about Evan

So I haven't gone to bed yet. Well...I think I was asleep for about 30 minutes. Evan just fell asleep half an hour ago. In order to keep myself awake while letting Evan wear himself out without playing with him, I was looking online at blogs of families with an Angelman child. There is something unique about having a child with special needs and while I know everyone has their own idea of the best way to raise their children, it is interesting to read the thoughts or experiences of them anyway. For example, I'm not the greatest advocate for Angelman Syndrome awareness or research or other things. I feel that Evan's symptoms are on the higher end of the scale. He can walk. He doesn't have seizures(this is huge in an area where children have died from the number or size of seizures their little bodies have had to endure). We were given a diagnosis fairly quickly, within the year of beginning the process when other families have had to endure multiple years of not knowing why their child was different. I think that part of my struggle with being overly involved is that I am still on the line in many situations of whether his behavior is due to this genetic syndrome or if it is due to his personality, or the way we act or react or teach him things. We have altered our lives for Evan in certain ways, but right now one of our concerns is how to get him into his bigger bed so that he will sleep. He needs the bigger bed because he's so tall, but in our opinions it needs to be enclosed so that he will fall asleep. But is it overly important that we do that, or should we be spending more time on training him how to fall asleep in a normal bed on his own?

I looked at one blog where the son is just a few years old and reminded me very much of Evan a few years ago. They are in Australia and she was posting about how she can't wait for the day when her son will walk to her. It was nice to be reminded of how miraculous that is. I looked at another blog where the family has 5 children and their daughter with Angelman's is the oldest. I've been wondering about whether I can handle adding another child to this mix. It is nice to see that other families have been able to do it.

Evan is an amazing little boy. There are a lot of things that I don't know how to overcome, like the way other children view him or interact with him when his actions seem mean(He likes to hit, kind of like giving you five, but continually and without your hand being ready for him. He pulls hair when hugging, sometimes even the hugging isn't understood). He can usually sleep pretty well, but today we couldn't figure out what was keeping him awake. While Oliver was trying to continue to find solutions(maybe he's hungry, thirsty, in pain, too hot, etc.), I kind of gave up and thought it was just the syndrome. And to know that this isn't a very common thing, made me (eventually) get to the point of being okay with it tonight instead of being angry that he wasn't falling asleep. Perhaps he needed some more oral stimulation than his pacifier was offering him because he fell asleep like this:

On the upside he brings us a lot of joy. We notice his advancements more since we don't always know if they are going to come. He's four years old and we still get a huge kick out of him waving to us.

Well, time to stop this rambling and get some sleep.

Anyone need a 2 year old?

Twice this week, I've had hard days. Days where I can't find the patience needed to be Mom that day. It seemed most often manifested around the two year old. In the excitement of becoming a mom, I hadn't anticipated these days and these feelings. The utter horror at realizing how unfit I truly am at raising a child. After having one child who has been two years old before, I hadn't anticipated what a true 2 year old is like and how challenging it would be.
He is the one who ran the other way in Evan's school because he was curious about what was down the next hallway. The one who then got upset with me for not carrying him the twenty feet from the school door to our car. The boy who actually ate a decent meal at the cafeteria without getting TOO distracted (believe me, that was a miracle). The one who, again, went the other way when we picked Evan up from school, twice. Who then also cried for 5 minutes when I refused to make macaroni and cheese for lunch when we're already making pizza and when we already have left over mac & cheese in the fridge. That was all one day. Today, he was the one who SCREAMED because he wasn't put in the carseat he wanted to be in and wouldn't stop screaming for 10 minutes(or longer...it felt like forever). Who consistently demands things. I want this, I want that, I want that. The one with an attitude that is so grating on me that I don't know what to do with him. It involves lots of crying and deep breathing.
But at the same time, he is also the one who can look at Evan and say, "Oh, he's so tute!" The one who while usually seen pushing Evan away, cuddled him for a minute and patted his back when he was crying. The one who is so innocent in his decision making that you just have to let him go with Daddy to do the laundry even though its bedtime. The one who will give a sweet hug around your neck or who will almost always want to snuggle with you.
I know I have a lot to learn. I know I've been given a lot of responsibility. I know that I don't live up to a quarter of what I should be doing for my sons. And I'm sorry for the bad days. But I'm so grateful that Oliver can pick up where I'm lacking on these days. I wish I could correlate some grand spiritual lesson into all this, but I've been so drained from the emtions of the last few days that I am just using this post to pour out some frustration and try to end it on a positive note. I do love him. But I have so much to learn...

Valentine’s Day Give-a-way and Darwin

My sister Beth is giving away a free photo shoot to anyone living in Utah. All you need to do is check out her photo blog and leave a comment. You have until Tuesday night!

On a side note, here is a my favorite Valentine card (Thanks, Megan, for finding this!)

Evan's Blog

Thank you all for showing your love for Evan.

By request, I will be starting up Evan's photo-a-day Blog again. If you are interested in checking it out you can find it at:

OurAngelEvan.blogspot.com

Pictures should post about 11:00 AM each day now.


-Oliver

Twelve on the 12th

So last month we gave you 10 on the 10th. It was suggested we do 11 on the 11th, but first we have to even things out so we offer now 12 on the 12th.

#1 Let's start off with a rare photo of Megan.

#2 Ryan's cup was as big as his face. I thought it was funny.

#3 Oliver was taking some shots of Ryan in his cute hat. I, again, thought this one was funny.

#4 It was a beautiful day. Like 50` outside. We opened the moonroof.

#5 Evan's pacifier went missing before we left our house. So I gave him this fishy bath toy.

#6 He was making a bird with his shadow.

#7 We explored PetSmart. Ryan thought the cat toys were awesome.

#8 I think Evan was getting bored of Lowes.

#9 We're trying to be hit by brilliance in how to make Evan's bed enclosed. Oliver has some good ideas, but we just have to make some official plans before going through with anything.

#10 Evan finally thought this was a fun game. He was out of the cart and pushing it instead of being pushed.

#11 I'm so excited! I think it's going to be fun to have some things growing in our house. And I hope that Ryan will be fascinated by it. And as I write this, I just noticed the little circle at the bottom that says "4+".

#12 Oliver is trying to figure out why his computer won't boot up. He hasn't solved it yet.

Eliminated were the many more photos of Ryan which were followed by "Lemme seeme!" or the handful which he actually took himself. Some weren't too bad. At least we were in the shots.

Anniversary

Five years. I have been a Hall Advisor for 5 years. "I'd like to thank the Academy..."

Five years is a long time for the culture of Hall Advisors lately. At least at BYU. Rarely will you find a Hall Advisor who builds a life long career from this point. I know of one who started here and has moved upward. When I was a student, the Hall Advisors were retiring from the position. I thought a Hall Advisor was a position for older, widowed women. That thought has changed as I've spent the last 5 years working with some absolutely amazing individuals who have been able to bring so much to the position in a short amount of time, 1 or 2 years instead of 20.

To start off my speech, I'd like to thank Megan. Not me, Megan, but my friend Megan. Crackle maybe? Or were you Snap? She got me my very first job with Residence Life. She got me started on this path 10 years ago. I was an early morning custodian which was not meshing well with my...sleep...while Megan had a job that was conflicting with her academics a bit. So she gave my name to Wendy, the office specialist, and some miracle happened where Wendy hired me as a mail clerk. Thank you, Wendy, you are an amazing woman, as well as having good taste.

Thank you, Jay. Your quirks and humor were always entertaining, but you also secretly supported my desire to become a Hall Advisor.

Thank you, Amber. The beautiful example of all that is good in the world(seriously, I don't think there's anything bad about that woman). She was a huge support to me. She encouraged me to keep trying, knowing that I could do this. While she's overly positive, I still trusted her. The unfortunate aspect of my becoming a Hall Advisor was that I took over for one of my dearest friends who left for adventure across the country. I still wonder how amazing it would have been to work with you.

I don't know if I can really write down each of the individuals that I've met and worked with over these 5 years that have impressed me or help me change. There are quite a few. There are too many of them that are just awesome people.(What can I say? The job attracts the awesome ones). And I don't want anyone to feel neglected. There are the few that helped me transition at the beginning who moved on shortly thereafter. I'm glad I can still track some of them down. I have no qualms in mentioning Shayla, Crystal & Deanna. You three specifically have taught me a lot about life, not just work. And Jacque, the years working with you have been entertaining and filled with lessons. And now I've been able to work more closely with some whom I have revered from afar. Thank you Lindsay, Laurie, Susie, Kendra, Lacey, and Kim for putting up with me as a more direct coworker. I can't discount others like the managers and RAs. Irmaleda, Ben, Vic, Dan. Shawnne, Amanda, Marci(wow...my A. Richards women rock), Danica. There are so many. Remember, just because I didn't mention you doesn't mean you aren't important...it's just that it's almost midnight and I should end this.

Thank you, Oliver. I know it hasn't been easy. I know that you sometimes get frustrated by my tendencies toward workaholicness. Thank you for loving me and supporting me.

Five years. That's a lot of time to devote to something. I appreciate that BYU recognizes their employees for the time given to a position. I hope that it's something that I've earned as well. Time and effort. That's why I make mention of it. I was a Hall Advisor before I was a mother. Being a Hall Advisor has sometimes frustrated other roles in my life, but I would be a fool to not recognize how much it has helped me also. Given me skills. Given me friends. Given me blessings.

Happy Anniversary.