Preparation

Preparation
by Anita Worthen

Standing here
in this new plot
of fertile soil,
gripping the plough,
blinded by the brightness
of dawn,
I am all too aware
that what is sown
must later be harvested.
But,
first,
I must plough.

(WARNING: The following is the ramblings of a someone trying to connect a lot of non-cohesive thoughts into one rather long blog post.)

Last night was the General Relief Society meeting. I was able to turn it on in our living room to listen, but I was not ready for it. I'd had a difficult day of not doing anything, being frustrated with my children, andnot having any focus. Half expecting to hear some grand words to pull me out of my funk, I just found myself not paying attention, hearing bits and pieces, realizing that I'd just have to reread the messages in the November Ensign and then being grateful it was over at the end. I was not ready to hear the words, I hadn't prepared myself for the spiritual inspiration and lift I'd kind of hoped for.
My little brother is getting married to his high school sweetheart in November, while said sweetheart is still in high school. Because I was not prepared for marriage at that age, I worry how they will handle it. One thing that is helping me over that slump is that Oliver told me, "He's already gone to war once, will be asked to do it again within the year, I have no right to tell him what to do." But I can try to help him and my future sister in law be prepared for marriage. (As much as you can do that within a two month time frame far away from either bride or groom). How much preparation is needed before you step into something and how much is about handling things as they come?
We've kind of started teaching Ryan how to use the toilet. We didn't prepare very well. But we're getting there and winging it is kind of working at the moment. The most helpful preparation? Understanding that this doesn't happen over night but is a milestone like walking that can take months to work up to.
Part of my job has slightly changed in that I'm working on a new team that focuses on how the Resident Assistants are trained. We had our first meeting last week and I've been thinking about all sorts of things ever since. Oliver has been teaching me for a couple years about education. I need to prepare and study topics to be able to bring some of those ideas into a better format to discuss with my team. We'll see if it makes any changes.
Preparation is so important to actually accomplishing things. I mentioned the desire to enjoy fall and the need to figure out how our family will get as much time together as we used to. I need to sit down and actually look at schedules and make a plan. Without that, we won't do anything, except sit at home and watch TV.
But overall as I was sitting here, studying some words about preparation from articles or talks on lds.org, I liked a few words I found.
Bishop Victor L. Brown in the November 1982 Ensign said: "As important as human physical needs are, the spiritual ones are much more so. It goes without saying that to sustain life we must have food, shelter, clothing, and the other necessities. However, we could have all of these in abundance and still be lacking in those things that will sustain eternal life."
Another article was titled simply "Preparation = Peace". Don't we all need a little more peace in our lives? I know it doesn't hurt.
Preparation is something for me to learn. Over many years, I've gained the skill of procrastination. I've labeled it many different things over the years: laidback, spontaneous, busy, etc. But it does not help me achieve much except for one assignment at a time or to learn that sometimes things go uncompleted. That definitely transfers over to all aspects of my life, from potty training, to meal planning, to house cleaning, Hall Advisoring(for you Oliver), exercising, recreationing, and especially to feeding and nurturing my testimony.
Ronald Errol Bartholomew in the February 2011 Ensign shared the following insight from President Henry B. Eyring: "However much faith to obey God we now have, we will need to strengthen it continually and keep it refreshed constantly. We can do that be deciding now to be more quick to obey and more determined to endure. Learning to start early and to be steady are the keys to spiritual preparation. Procrastination and inconsistency are its mortal enemies."
Some other words from Thomas S. Monson in 2001 at a CES fireside that I find applicable and more down to earth:
"It is necessary to prepare, to plan, so that we don't fritter away our lives. Without a goal, there can be no real success. The best definition of succes I have ever found goes something like this: Success is the progressive realization of a worthy idea. [...] Preparation is hard work but absolutely essential for our progress. [...] Consider your preparation. Let me share with you this time honored advice which has never been more applicable than it is right now: It is not the number of hours that you put in but what you put in the hours that counts. [...] Make certain as you prepare, you do not procrastinate, you know, waste time, put off. Someone has said that procrastination is the thief of time. Actually, procrastination is much more. It is the thief of our self respect, it nags at us, spoils our fun. It deprives us of the fullest realization of our ambitions and our hopes."

Here's to setting goals, making plans, studying, and preparing ourselves for today and all of our tomorrows.

Smells like Fall

When I stepped outside tonight, it felt like fall.
I say it smells like it, but I don't really know what that means. Perhaps its the crispness in the air. And the hope to smell a bonfire.
It also sounded like fall. I could hear the intramural games being played just to the south of me and to the northeast. Reminded me of many a fall spent sitting on a bleacher at a soccer game. And the occasional football game. I should attend more of those.
Or maybe it looks like fall. The moon was just above the mountains, in that little crook between Y Mountain and Squaw Peak above Provo Peak. It was a little less than full and the clouds were kind of surrounding it and hazing across it, blurring the edges a bit. Our parking lot is full again with residents' cars. I think we need to drive up a canyon to see if the leaves are changing colors yet.
Or maybe it tastes like fall. Last night my dinner consisted of a large tomato, salad, watermelon, mashed potatoes and squash. The squash and potatoes came from a farmer's market earlier in the day. The tomato still smelled like the plant it came from.
Fall isn't officially here for another week, but the feeling I got last night made me want to make plans. and not miss the season.
I want to get ready for the holidays soon to come. I want to decorate our home with fall colors. I want to be a better neighbor and friend. It made me want to be a little more social. I want to enjoy the season and not be stressed out by other things that are happening in my life. I can't quite explain the feeling fall gives me, but I like it and I want to make use of it. I hope you do too.

11 on the 11th

I have no patriotic images today, except for the things that I would fight for, my family.
I'm grateful for all that has been done to keep America safe and secure and free. I'm grateful for all that will continue to be done.

1. We started our day with cuddling. Evan was being fairly sweet before he started to hit Ryan. I just love when we can catch images of him snuggling like this.

If I had remembered to keep the camera on me, the next picture would be a picture of our chapel, with its flag at half-mast(followed by a conversation on why its called that).

2. The sunny day turned stormy. I then began thinking of the ROTC members who were holding a 24 hour vigil at the flag pole on campus in honor of 9/11/01.

3. Playing blocks!

4. "I can be angry if I want!" Evan just knocked his tower down.

5. Ryan's and my creation. It's a helicopter!

6. Playing letters.I was making him match up the lowercase letters with the uppercase ones. He did pretty well. He doesn't know g or q and still gets confused on a. But he did lots better than the last time I did this with him.

7. "Mom, do we have salad?"

8. We haven't pulled this iron and ironing board out in at least 1 year and maybe even 2. I guess that's what happens when Oliver starts wearing all of his nice shirts consistently.

9. It started to rain and Evan was loving having the window open in order to close it and open it repeatedly.

10. A surprise dropped at our door. I am still a bit in awe.

11. Snickerdoodles! We made them and ate them and they were well liked. Then we delivered a few to our neighbors. Then Ryan wanted to deliver more. And as we were outside he was declaring to everyone that "We have snickerdoodles!"

Three Day Weekend Fun

Our fun weekend started by visiting Evan's new school and new teacher since he'll start his last year of preschool tomorrow and will have to adjust to a few changes. That was exciting.

Oliver's dad also flew in for the weekend so we were able to spend some time with him. On Saturday, Oliver's parents and our little family drove north, while Oliver's brother Charlie drove his family south to all meet in Beth's new town of Logan, Utah. Beth is attending Utah State University as a graduate student and it provides a great gathering point for those of us nearby.

We ate lunch at a park and then walked through their tiny little zoo-Willow Park Zoo. After that we found Beth's new apartment and then she took us on a quick tour of the USU campus. It reminded me a little of Knox College back in Galesburg, IL. They have a building called Old Main(so does Knox) and just a nice sprawly campus with old trees. The difference? USU is practically on the side of a mountain and Knox doesn't have a whole lot of hills.

It was fun to spend some time with everyone. Ryan definitely enjoyed himself.

While we were in Logan, my cute little brother drove up to visit his two favorite sisters. :)
So Saturday night, Sunday and most of today has been spent with Mitch and Nat. We did go over for Sunday dinner with Oliver's parents, aunts, uncle and grandmother so we did our best sharing time with all of those happy people who came to town.

Sunday afternoon, Oliver decided he wanted to climb a mountain. And there were two peaks he had said he'd wanted to climb this summer and hadn't yet. Mt. Timpanogos or Mt. Nebo. One is 11,749 ft. in elevation and the other is 11,928 ft. Both are roughly a 10 mile hike roundtrip. One is the Utah County Highpoint. I don't know if that last point is the reason he chose it, but Oliver decided to hike Mt. Nebo, the 11,928 footer. And he made it back safely and he's tired and sore, but I'm proud of him and I'm pretty sure he's happy too.

The rest of us had a picnic in the park and spent time together. It's the first time the three youngest of my family have been together in...a long time. I love them. Along with the rest of the bunch, but I'm really grateful I could spend time with both Nat and Mitch this weekend. It made me happy. :)