Friday, May 3, 2013

Losing My Mind

I am normally an organized person in my brain even if that doesn't show in a physical form. Even though I can't figure out how to arrange items in an orderly fashion, I am always aware of what day it is and what responsibilities are to be done each day. Over the last few weeks, I'm noticing that I am losing track of what day it is multiple times throughout the day. Each day runs into the next or into the one before. Its an unpleasant feeling.
I'n not sure exactly why its happening but I wonder if its because I'm a stay at home mom with no other responsibilities or obligations except to get my children to school on time. As a child, I don't remember this need to know what day it is, but as a student I just was aware of it all. I was a student for a long time and then transitioned into a full time job that had something each day. Monday usually involved meeting with RAs or a manager. Tuesday was a giant day of meetings in the afternoon and evening. Wednesday had a few more meetings and cleaning inspections. Thursday was a day off. Friday could have meetings or cleaning inspections or may lead into my weekend off. Now, it all feels the same. While my children's activities may differ depending on what day it is, mine don't. Perhaps this is one reason why I want to be working with the swim team. It will add dimension to my days and weeks.
In the meantime, I need to figure out how to make the days feel special. Last summer, I started a routine meant to help Ryan understand that each day can mean something different. I didn't follow it perfectly so it didn't become habit, but maybe I need to create something for myself. I've been trying to come up with a weekly routine for myself, but I don't think defining each day by what I clean will be enough to get over losing my mind. Any suggestions?

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