On Wednesday, we went to Farrer Elementary for a preschool evaluation for my baby. He was tested to see if he fit the qualifications for the special education preschool program. He does. It was a family affair. Our four family members plus a teacher and a speech pathologist in one preschool room to enjoy at our leisure. At least, that's what Ryan thought. Evan finally got used to us being there about halfway through. He wasn't okay when Oliver got up to go get Ryan who was just 5 feet away, but that passed. The preschool teacher he has been assigned to called earlier, but I wasn't home and she hasn't called back yet. It's kind of scary that this is progressing. I'm not ready to send him away from home for 2 1/2 hours. I just know that he'll be pretty stressed out to not have mom and dad with him, but I'm hoping for the best. I think I've been thinking about it too much and need to stop thinking about it and just wait until things happen.(Ha Ha! Yeah, right!).
I never thought that I'd be sending a child off to school at the age of 3. I was hoping to not worry about this for two more years. I just need to remember that this will be beneficial for him. It will get him more accustomed to school and being away from home and all of that fun stuff. A friend mentioned to me that this could be good for my relationship with Ryan. And let him develop more in his own way. I'll keep you posted, but some nights this just tears at my heart to imagine what Evan will think when this gets started. Will he think I'm abandoning him? Will he be able to be comforted? Will he be able to learn from this experience? I'll try to stay positive, but...he's my baby. I never realized until now that I'm actually a protective mom. I don't want him to be hurt.
5 comments:
I think you have every right to feel the way you do and I think it means you are an amazing, sensitive and careful mother, though it must still feel heart wrenching sometimes.
That means you're a good mom! But also, I always think we end up being so nervous about things and it's harder on us than on the kids! Hopefully that's the case for you.
Wow what a big step! I can't imagine what it will be like for you. Keep us updated.
You're such a loving, amazing mom, and I'm sure Evan will do better than you think (and so will you).
Megan, Eli is starting the same program. He was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder in August, but I've been reluctant to talk about it on our blog. Part because I'm in denial (and every one of his therapists doesn't think it is accurate) and the other part is because I think he'll "grow out" of a lot of the symptoms and I'd like him to have a chance at life without a label - at least if he doesn't qualify for one. But label or not, he still qualifies.
Anyway, I think we could talk about a lot. Honestly I am feeling better and better about sending him to pre-school. I realize that though I'm his mother and am trying to provide everything for him and be his everything, I can't do it all. I'd like him to get as far as he can in life and I realize that to do that I need some help. He needs to learn to deal with other people as well. I expect that there will be some rough starts, night waking screams of terror because of the new transitions, and lots of tears shed (from both of us) for various other reasons, but I also expect him to gain more confidence and a better sense of self and what he is influencing, etc.
I have been thinking about it for a year now, knowing it will probably come. I also have hope as I expect a great working relationship between, our case manager, teachers and therapist as we go on. (My fingers are crossed on that one. I've heard some crazy stories from people where they've let working relationships go bad or the case manager feels that they know best, etc. Yikes! I've decided to go in and just expect it to work, us to work, and for us all to be on the same side.)
Anyway I could talk all day about this - as it is my life these days... Let me know how it goes for you, and if you want to talk about it or anything let me know. You're a great mom!
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